How Cold Is It?

An annotated thermometer...

50 - Miami residents turn on the heat.

40 - COLLEGE STUDENTS STILL WEAR SHORTS; Californians shiver uncontrollably; Wisconsinites go swimming.

35 - Italian cars don't start.

32 - Water freezes.

30 - You can see your breath; You plan your vacation to Australia; Wisconsinites put on T-shirts; Politicians begin to worry about the homeless.

25 - Boston water freezes; Californians weep pitiably; Wisconsinites eat ice cream; Canadians go swimming; Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you.

20 - You can hear your breath; Politicians begin to talk about the homeless; New York City water freezes; Miami residents plan vacation further South.

15 - You plan a vacation in Mexico; Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 - Too cold to snow; You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 - You plan your vacation in Houston.

0 - American cars don't start; Alaskans put on T-shirts; Too cold to skate.

-5 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo; Wisconsinites' stick tongue on metal objects; Miami residents cease to exist.

-10 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you; Politicians actually do something about the homeless; Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof.

-15 - Too cold to think; You need jumper cables to get the driver going; Only ice chunks hit the bottom of the outhouse.

-20 - You plan a two week hot bath; The Mighty Monongahela freezes; Japanese cars don't start.

-25 - Californians disappear; Wisconsinites button top button; Canadians put on sweaters; Your car helps you plan your trip South.

-30 - Congressional hot air freezes.

-50 - Hell freezes over; Polar bears move south.

-65 -All major universities are still open and requiring students to attend class! Remember the good old elementary school Days???