Boudreaux the Cajun died and was on his way down to Hell. In anticipation, the Devil turned up the thermostat to make it extra warm for Boudreaux.
When Boudreaux arrived, the Devil asked, "Hey Boudreaux, how do you like the heat down here?"
Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's just fine. It reminds me of Bayou PonPon in July."
That made the Devil mad. That night, he turned the thermostat up all the way it could go. Man it was hot! When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "NOW how do you like it down here?"
Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's fine. It reminds me of August on Bayou Lafourche."
As you might expect, that made the Devil all the more mad. Well, that night, he turned the thermostat down all the way it could go! The whole place frosted over. Icicles started forming from the rafters. When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "How you like it NOW,Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux, shivering, through blue lips, says, "Mais cher, I'm one Happy Cajun!"
The Devil was infuriated! He yelled, "What do you mean you're one Happy Cajun?!!"
Boudreaux, still shivering says, "The Saints done won the Super Bowl!"
IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.... GEAUX SAINTS!!!!
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
1.16.2007
12.19.2006
Villere Congratulates Blanco for NOT Contacting Sugar Bowl
(Baton Rouge) - Roger Villere Jr., Chairman of the Republican Party of Louisiana, today formally issued a statement of appreciation to Governor Kathleen Blanco for not contacting the Sugar Bowl to secure an invitation for the LSU Tigers.
“On behalf of LSU fans everywhere, I want to extend my thanks to Governor Kathleen Blanco for not contacting the Sugar Bowl,” Villere said. “According to newspaper reports, the Governor contacted the Rose and Orange Bowls to secure an invitation for LSU and we obviously won’t be playing in either of those contests,” Villere said.
“I fear what might have happened had she called someone in New Orleans at the Sugar Bowl Committee,” he said. “A few more calls by Blanco and the Tigers may have been headed out of the BCS entirely,” Villere said.
Villere suggested that the Governor might adopt slightly different priorities, “The Governor should consider spending more time on the LRA instead of trying to help with LSU’s bowl game. She has already botched the Road Home Program, please leave LSU football alone.”
(Baton Rouge) - Roger Villere Jr., Chairman of the Republican Party of Louisiana, today formally issued a statement of appreciation to Governor Kathleen Blanco for not contacting the Sugar Bowl to secure an invitation for the LSU Tigers.
“On behalf of LSU fans everywhere, I want to extend my thanks to Governor Kathleen Blanco for not contacting the Sugar Bowl,” Villere said. “According to newspaper reports, the Governor contacted the Rose and Orange Bowls to secure an invitation for LSU and we obviously won’t be playing in either of those contests,” Villere said.
“I fear what might have happened had she called someone in New Orleans at the Sugar Bowl Committee,” he said. “A few more calls by Blanco and the Tigers may have been headed out of the BCS entirely,” Villere said.
Villere suggested that the Governor might adopt slightly different priorities, “The Governor should consider spending more time on the LRA instead of trying to help with LSU’s bowl game. She has already botched the Road Home Program, please leave LSU football alone.”
GEAUX TIGERS!12.16.2006
Fwd: Fw: FOOTBALL . . . QUOTE OF THE WEEK
*Thanks to Stewart, Lexington, Kentucky for the football funny...
11.22.2006
Large Turkey and the Football Players
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
11.20.2006
Subject: Go Cats! Hell Has Frozen Over!
A guy from Kentucky dies and goes to Hell. He had been a horrible man all his life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it even worse, he cranks up the temperature and humidity.
After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Kentuckian is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says "I don't understand this! I've turned the heat way up, it's humid and you're crushing rocks. Why are you so happy?"
The Kentuckian, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Lexington. Hot, humid and a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Kentuckian's remarks. He then decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential winds. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing in his eyes, the Kentuckian is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks how he can be so happy in such awful conditions.
The Kentuckian, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It's just like April in Kentucky. It reminds me of working out in the yard with spring planting. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
Now the devil is completely baffled. He is more determined than ever to make the Kentuckian suffer. He then makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly, Hell is blanketed in feet of snow and ice. Confident that this will finally make the Kentuckian unhappy, he checks in on him again. He is again aghast at what he sees! The guy is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in utter glee.
"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero?" screams the devil. Jumping up and down the Kentuckian throws a snowball at the devil and yells "Hell is frozen over!! This means the Wildcats are going to a Bowl game!!"
After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Kentuckian is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says "I don't understand this! I've turned the heat way up, it's humid and you're crushing rocks. Why are you so happy?"
The Kentuckian, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Lexington. Hot, humid and a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Kentuckian's remarks. He then decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential winds. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing in his eyes, the Kentuckian is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks how he can be so happy in such awful conditions.
The Kentuckian, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It's just like April in Kentucky. It reminds me of working out in the yard with spring planting. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
Now the devil is completely baffled. He is more determined than ever to make the Kentuckian suffer. He then makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly, Hell is blanketed in feet of snow and ice. Confident that this will finally make the Kentuckian unhappy, he checks in on him again. He is again aghast at what he sees! The guy is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in utter glee.
"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero?" screams the devil. Jumping up and down the Kentuckian throws a snowball at the devil and yells "Hell is frozen over!! This means the Wildcats are going to a Bowl game!!"
10.08.2006
The LSU Fan
An LSU fan used to amuse himself by scaring every opponent fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious blue and orange colors. He would swerve his car as if to hit them, and then he would swerve back on the road just before hitting them.
One day, as the LSU fan was driving along, he saw a priest walking on the side of the road. He thought he would do a good thing and pull over to offer him a ride. He asked the priest "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The priest climbed into the back seat, and the LSU fan continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an opposing team fan strutting down the side of the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, barely missing the guy.
Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest in the back seat, and turned to say "I'm sorry, Father, I almost hit that Auburn fan."
"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
One day, as the LSU fan was driving along, he saw a priest walking on the side of the road. He thought he would do a good thing and pull over to offer him a ride. He asked the priest "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The priest climbed into the back seat, and the LSU fan continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an opposing team fan strutting down the side of the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, barely missing the guy.
Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest in the back seat, and turned to say "I'm sorry, Father, I almost hit that Auburn fan."
"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
9.29.2006
Northern v. Southern Football
Planning for the Fall Football Season
Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip to the South, here are some helpful hints.
Women's Accessories
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Bear Bryant, Archie, Eli and Peyton Manning, Bo Jackson
Getting Tickets
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Monday Classes After a Saturday Game
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have to prepare for classes on Monday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Monday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who comes over during breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
Concessions
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is played
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of themstand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male)
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his Legs..."
Commentary (Female)
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.
Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip to the South, here are some helpful hints.
Women's Accessories
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
Stadium Size
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Bear Bryant, Archie, Eli and Peyton Manning, Bo Jackson
Getting Tickets
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Monday Classes After a Saturday Game
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have to prepare for classes on Monday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Monday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who comes over during breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
Concessions
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is played
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of themstand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male)
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his Legs..."
Commentary (Female)
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.
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