Inner Peace via Dr. Phil

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil Show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed,

"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."

So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some M&M's and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel! Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace!

*Thanks Chuck! Good luck with that inner peace! Big Pine Key, Florida*

Stress Management

In case you've had a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works...

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. Bubbles slowly float to the surface creating a gentle gurgling sound.

7. The water is crystal clear.

8. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater...

See! You're smiling already.