Fw: What "PMS" Really Stands For...

13 Things PMS Stands For:

(1.) Pass My Shotgun

(2.) Psychotic Mood Shift

(3.) Perpetual Munching Spree

(4.) Puffy Mid-Section

(5) People Make me Sick

(6.) Provide Me with Sweets

(7.) Pardon My Sobbing

(8.) Pimples May Surface

(9.) Pass My Sweat pants

(10.) Pissy Mood Syndrome

(11.) Plainly, Men Stink

(12.) Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one:

(13.) Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends

and those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

Fw: Words Women Use...

Words Women Use:

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: Tis is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A women is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F..... YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

New Words for 2007

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace!!!

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© 1999-Twentieth Century Fox-All rights reserved

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1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

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2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

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3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

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4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

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5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

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6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

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7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to couch potato.

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8. DINK: Dual Income, No Kids.

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9. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

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10: WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

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11. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

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12. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

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13. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

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14. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

© 1999-Twentieth Century Fox-All rights reserved

15. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer------
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16. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundlyinappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
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17. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
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18. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
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19. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).
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20. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a cube farm.

*Thanks for the vocabulary lesson Nancy! Lexington, Kentucky*