Fw: None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

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1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

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2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

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3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

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4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

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5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

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6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

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7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

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8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

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Send this to 10 of your closest friends,then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

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Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

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And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!