People Say the Dumbest Things

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

-Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

-Mariah Carey, pop music singer
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

-Brooke Shields, actress, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

-Lee Iacocca
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

-Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

-Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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