The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS:
What's for dinner?
SAFER:
Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:
Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS:
Are you wearing that?
SAFER:
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:
WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS:
What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:
Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:
Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS:
Should you be eating that?
SAFER:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:
Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS:
What did you DO all day?
SAFER:
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:
I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some more chocolate.

*Thanks for the e-mail Larry! Baton Rouge, Louisiana*